Bluetooth from brain to blog on bike

How's that for alliteration in my title?  It's true.  If I could channel my thoughts while I'm riding directly to my blog, you'd all really be tired of me!  Things like most interesting road kill/detritis of the day, most intriguing idea of the day, new biking discovery of the day... You get the idea.  Not much of interest in the road today but saw a brilliant "green" contractor idea.  I passed a motorcycle that had a collapsible ladder strapped to the side of it!  Estimating today?  No truck needed.  Drive the bike! Yesterday's most interesting person on the ride wasn't actually a person but a canine, a beautiful 1st gen, full size, golden doodle.  I want one.  Nice big muzzle, big but not too big, soft and furry coat that shed's little.

Other more significant things run through my mind too.  While riding home tonight I was again amazed at how I'm changing at really deep levels.  I was thinking about identity.  I know and teach tons of stuff about how Jesus is my identity.  The fact that I am loved and accepted completely by God is a part of my daily thoughts.  However there are parts of my soul/spirit that aren't so closely tied to my intellect.  These parts find me reflecting on the recent changes I've made and finding it all a little incredulous and more than a little uncomfortable at the same time.  Who is this thinner, more fit, outdoor loving version of myself?  I recently watched Jake Gyllenhal in Source Code.  The main character asked the military commander if there was another one of her somewhere that didn't marry that guy, that made different choices for her life.  I'm blissfully happy with my choice of soulmate, my choice to bear each of my children, my life journey with God.  But what other areas need change to become permanently a part of who I am, of my identity?

Sometimes as I reflect on my journey toward a thinner me I find an inner voice telling me, "It won't last" or "This thinner you isn't really who you are."  "You really aren't this person who loves biking everywhere you go and would prefer not to get in a car unless you have to."  "You really don't like the big night sky. It makes you afraid."  I'm learning the importance of quieting those voices.  Of taking control of my life in ways I know beyond a shadow of a doubt are things God wants to change in me.  The wonder of it all is that sometimes there are things that I sense him saying, "Sure, go ahead and try that on.  See how it fits you.  I can work with that."

Dave Evans, a brilliant man, mentor and friend, taught a class at Vintage Faith on the will of God.  The most freeing thing he talked about was the "infinite number of yous" being ok for God to work with.  He's a big God that can move the chess pieces of life and choices around endlessly without error or doubt.  There is an incredible amount of freedom in accepting "growth change".  Fear would have me feel otherwise.  My stoic, risk averse German DNA gets a little freaked out by it.  Secretly, I think the Irish DNA is exultant in it!

Some of you are wishing I would cut to the chase and just tell you how I've lost 50+lbs.  I'm not ready to do that here.  It feels too much like a multi-level marketing scheme tactic.  I don't want to cheapen the hard work that's involved.  I can tell you in a nutshell how I've done it.  Homeopathic Hcg.  Ok so I did it.  But that doesn't reveal the inner work that has brought me to the place that I can feel my stomach growl and not reach for the cookie.  So those of you who are in it for the long haul, travel with me and learn more about how it all works. Share your thoughts back.  I've created a few discussions in my FB Healing Pathway page.  Tell me what you're thinking and experiencing.

Abstract from my dissertation

This is a bit of a departure from current blog posts but many have been curious about my dissertation.  It will be a dry subject for many but here's the abstract as it stands so far... Subject to change of course.  I'm only twelve of 45-75 pages in!

Abstract for Redeeming Health: The Practice & Theology of Natural Health

This paper is written to stimulate the thinking and discernment of the reader in respect to healing mindsets and methodologies currently in practice in health and medicine today.  The intended audience is primarily people whose worldview is framed in Biblical Christian values and beliefs.  It will challenge some; others may find it enlightening.  Readers who do not hold values consistent with a Christian worldview are invited to read and think critically about the principles presented.  

I will explore questions such as: How has the Theology of healing changed throughout the ages? Is it static or has it changed as society or religious perspectives have changed? What were those theologies or philosophies?  Why did the changes occur?  How has our postmodern/post-Christian shift affected health, medicine, and the Christian view of healing? How have people who follow God made medical choices in the past?  What is the significance of these changes?  If science prompted change, what changes prompt our current theology on healing?  What role does scripture play in these choices?  I examine concepts laid out in the Christian and Hebrew scriptures: the Creation and Hebrew Testament stories of early humanity, Jesus’ healing passages, eating meat offered to idols, general and special revelation, as well as applicable apochryphal passages.

I’ll present principles to lay a foundation for discernment. One that will consider truth, input from the scriptures, input from natural revelation through science and the created order, and examine how health and healing has been viewed and practiced throughout the ages and into our present time.  This can educate us regarding the big picture that helps us make wise choices today. I will conclude with principles for discernment in all methodologies of healing and include a matrix to help the reader to make an informed decision based on the thoughts presented here, one best suiting her conscience and health perspectives.  In some cases, Christ followers will choose methodologies they had not tried before.  In other cases personal discernment may lead them away from therapies now deemed acceptable in the mainline American medical system.  The goal of this paper is to bring educated discernment and to help formulate a current theology of health and healing based on principles honoring to our God and Creator which will allow us to find a healing pathway God desires for us.

Thinking I might tweet...

Second day of school.  Mom is improving.  Barry's at work.  I should be working on my dissertation.  Much more incentive to blog today!  Please bear with me as I learn to blog.  In my mind there's a fuzzy zone where blogging simply becomes a narcissitic venting, mental dysentary or useless effort for me to write or you to read.  So as I fine tune that sense, be aware that I may offer a little TMI (blame approaching menopause?), useless mind ramblings or something in some way offensive to someone.  What I want to do is see if any of my musings, research, training or experiences can resonate with yours.  I want to offer insights into what has often been right in front of me but I had to get a little more seasoned from life's ups and downs to see it.  As you feel ready to jump in with comments I'll try to fine tune further as I find out what is really helpful to people.  One of my biggest personal feats offered by this blog is to try to put to rest my 120% or it's nothing mindset, a destructive life tendency that I'm trying desperately to break!  I'll also open some discussions on my facebook Healing Pathway page so that if a drilled down discussion is helpful we can do that there instead of in a blog.  

As for the tweeting... All morning I've had tweets in my head but no phone in hand.  Things that I'm loving about being 53lbs (almost!) lighter at 53 have rolled through my awareness.  I'm considering tweeting these not so that I can gloat (really!) but so that others might see that there are joys along the way toward goal weights and better health.  If we don't appreciate the small victories, we'll never reach the big goal.  

Have I shared my mantra that has kept me on this journey?  When I was just starting out I was terrified of how long the process of losing 90lbs was going to be.  I was praying about this cuz I  was afraid it would deter me from even getting started.  (120/0 thinking again!)  A catch phrase (for those uncomfortable with the word mantra) came to my mind.  (I believe from my amazing Creator!)  Countless times along this journey I have reinforced my resolve with this phrase:

 "It may take a long time but I won't always be here on my way there." 

now on to the dissertation!!!

The Journey Continues

I promised a blog today and am finding the tyrannies of the day crowding in already. The first day back to school for kids should be a quiet one for me. But the day marches on. Barry is running around me in a flurry of activity as I sit here to write a bit so forgive me if it's short.

There are a couple of things running around my brain today. Constant prayers for my family is one. My sweet 90 year old mom is one day out from surgery to replace a broken hip. I feel at peace but far away. They are in Nebraska--a world away from Silicon Valley, California! My two sisters are helping her and my dad (92 yrs) as they go through this tough time. One sister is recovering from major back surgery so my other sister is the hero of the day today. Both of them have worked tirelessly to care and advocate for my Mom and Dad who are in an awesome skilled nursing facility with loving caregivers who are keeping track of my Daddy who must be very worried. They've been married since June of 1940. It's 2011, you do the math. In our time this is one of the longest marriages you'll find. They are still deeply in love and devoted to each other. Truly inspiring! So as my mom lies in her bed struggling for all of her bodily systems to come back online and in more pain than I want to think about, I struggle to write.

My kids are always in my thoughts. Two in their 20s still ramble through my thoughts daily as I think of what they're doing at their jobs or as they pursue their hobbies. Son a scuba diver. Daughter a professional pastry chef (@sweetshannies on twitter!) But I am beginning to let go. To breathe into their adulthood and independence. The teens just went back to school today so lots of thoughts going that direction. First day of high school for my baby daughter. That's a big one.

Never to be out of my thoughts is my amazing Barry. My parents marriage is inspirational. My own is lifegiving. He's back after a few days with the kids in Idaho doing cool out in the country stuff with 4WD jeeps and (gasp) guns (target shooting is cool!) and cute puppy dogs. Today we'll do our errands, experience a bit of a sabbath since Sundays are workdays for us as pastors and hosts to a new faith community, and enjoy lunch together before the kids are out of school.

So forgive me if today my thoughts are divided and scattered. Thoughts of health, weight loss, nutrition and exercise are in there but they aren't center stage today. I'll tell you more about our family journey toward better health and the nearly 125 lb weight loss of the Renfros. The story of the Incredible Shrinking Renfros is still ahead. Stay tuned...

On a new journey with Healing Pathway... Join me

My daughter is inspiring me on so many levels. She's just started a business, a blog and upped her facebook presence. It's been years since I've last used this blog so I'll be a little rusty but I want to get back to it so here I go. It may be a little bit at a time but here goes...

I think the big thing that has held me back has been an overwhelming sense that as I grow older, I've realized how little I really know. Five years in the study of natural health has vastly grown my knowledge but that's not it. Do I really have anything to say that might make a difference in someone's life? That's the question haunting me. My husband has long pointed out that I live by the 120% rule: If it's not 120% then it's 0. I'm attempting to leave behind that destructive way of thinking. As a result, I'm going to take a chance that I can actually share something that might be helpful to another. If not for you, then maybe for someone else.

Recently a good friend and colleague wisely and kindly admonished me to begin to practice what I preach. Ouch! This was the most loving and kindest thing she could have said. It was only an echo of what I was already feeling but not acting on. Again proof that I needed to practice what I preached.

I'll be a bit vulnerable here and, at the risk of TMI, share things I might not have when I was younger. Blame it on approaching menopause. I have "that thing Kitty (That 70s Show) has". But I do it in the hopes that my transparency might help someone else find the courage and insight I lacked just a few months ago and maybe to have people help me stay accountable.

I'm a dissertation short of a naturopathic doctor/ojopodoctor of naturopathic ministry degree. I'm also certified to practice and teach a touch healing methodology called Cellular Response. I've had training in several types of massage, body systems analysis, nutrition, human chemistry and more. Over the past five years I have gained a tremendous respect for the human body, mind and spirit. All this and I was 90lbs overweight!

There are always reasons why one gains a little here and there, aren't there? What happens that suddenly the extra five pounds turns to 10 and how in the world does it get to 90? In my case I was at my goal weight after two children and a whole lot of hard work. Giardia; gall bladder disease, surgery, complications leading to chronic pain, medication that instantly put on 40lbs; a severe ankle injury involving 3 surgeries and a year and a half recovery, two more pregnancies... Physically, it was a rough twenty years. But that said, I began my ascent out of denial when I took a little test in Dr. Phil's book, The Ultimate Weight Solution. I discovered I was NOT ready to lose the weight I'd gained. This realization while pretty sad might have actually been the first step. That plus my friend's admonition and a pretty crazy food plan started me on this new journey. Stay tuned for more posts about just that and join me!